My fellow Americans. As you will no doubt be aware, the first national shoot a spammer day is fast approaching.
Please don't be caught off guard by leaving it till the last minute to buy your munitions. Gun shops everywhere are stocking up NOW on models that include laser guidance systems and night vision.
Shooting a SPAMMER is easy. You may have some difficulty finding one, but once you do, shooting them is easy! It's just a matter of point, click, delete ... very similar to how you deal with the messages they send you (200 f@$king times a day).
If you have any trouble locating a spammer to shoot, here are a couple of tell-tail signs:
I personally approve of shooting anyone doing one of these:
If you're still having trouble locating a target for Shoot A SPAMMER Day: April 15, 2004 Here's a list of names I found in my inbox today. If you know anyone with this name just shoot first and ask questions later.
Some prestigious events for National Shoot A SPAMMER Day:
In preparation, you might want to do a little shooting practice HERE.
It's actually a turkey shooting game, but SPAMMERs and turkeys are pretty similar.
Have fun and let's make National Shoot A SPAMMER Day a great success!
Onwards to Rik Sagar's Eternally Under Construction Website
EXTRA: Tools for venting your SPAMMER frustration
Just found this: Spam Wars.
|Go ahead! Shoot someone!|
The Tippmann Model 98 integrates high performance with ergonomic design. It features the Hypershot Trigger System with a 3-pound trigger pull -- one of the lightest on the market. This system eliminates the heavy trigger pull and large amount of play found in most other markers.
|Buy me!||Go ahead! Shoot them again!|
The newly formulated Brass Eagle .68-caliber paintballs have increased accuracy and performance, with several brilliant color choices. The 1,000-count box is packed in 2 poly bags to ensure freshness.
|Shoot them at night! You know night-time is when the bastards are most active...|
The versatile, weather-resistant Explorer monocular is designed for a wide range of nocturnal viewing in inclement weather that includes light rain, dust or humidity. A great choice for the outdoorsman or mariner looking for a reliable and rugged night vision device.
DISCLAIMERS: April 15 is not really national Shoot A SPAMMER Day - I made it all up. Actually, it's my brother's 50th birthday. Happy birthday dude!
Shooting people may be illegal. Killing people definatly is illegal, except perhaps Texas, where I understand Mexicans are fair game.
Dispite starting with the line My Fellow Americans I'm not really American. I used it for effect. However, I do live in America and can recommend it!
While I maintain that shooting SPAMMERS is a good idea, it's probably best to do it with non-lethal weapons - SPAM™, Paintballs, Old AOL CDs, etc.
SPAM is a trademark of Hormel Foods - and a damn fine meat product too! Visit spam.com for good Spam advice!
All other trademarks & copyrights observed.